Monday, June 11, 2012

KEPT


These past few weeks I have never felt more like a child before God. I imagine I can get quite precocious in front of Him as I recognise the lessons He has evoked from me, but there has been little room for this prideful perception recently. I have been in such need of His practical input and in this posture of helplessness I have once again been confronted with His faithful character. And so I write in celebration of this! As I often find in obeying God, sometimes all I have in my hands is an understanding of His will and yet no concept of how I can pursue making this into a reality. With being home for 6 months in 2011 before jetting off again in September I had far too little time to earn fully towards this Bible school. As I fretted and regularly reminded God of this broken equation of too-much-fees and too-little-earning time I began to gain tea-spoon testimonies of His provision which prompted me to acknowledge that He is helping me to come here too. During my Chester stop-off in 2011 I felt Him challenge me to ask Him for money at the start of every week and to trust that He would provide. Each week, without exception, I prayed and saw small amounts come in, sometimes on the last day of the week (I think God has a sense of humour), but nevertheless, the money came. Now, as the final term of my school loomed, so did the deadline of the final payment as to which I could not pay. I write to celebrate that a month before the end of lecture-phase all my school fees came in! I am still hoping and anticipating that God will continue to miraculously provide for me to serve in Mongolia and feel my faith has been revived. I too want to acknowledge that it was so spiritually uncomfortable to be in need before God, but when I took the time to look to His steadfast character I was able to find more integral comfort in that place than anywhere else.